they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
