Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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