I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
