I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize