I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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