I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
