That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
