I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
