whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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