I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it's not cheating when I paid for it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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