69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
