how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to make out with him forever
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
