Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize