i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
