You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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