I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it glows. i had to have it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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