you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
