i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How external is "for external use only"?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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