My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
