i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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