Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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