We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
