We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
