life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
