he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
