Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize