I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
