You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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