anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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