so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
