She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
