I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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