I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
