I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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