im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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