just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
