hotel room ftw
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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