On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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