How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
