WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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