there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize