Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize