so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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