we made out on top of his cat.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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