They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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