Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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