In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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