Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
