? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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