Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
