Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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