My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
