i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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