I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
