you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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