Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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