Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
