The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
