end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
