No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Bring me that man meat
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
