i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
