Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
