they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
