Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
